7th

Las Olas, Ft. Lauderdale, Florida

outside of a boarded up night club

tourist boats that go unused

abandon

abandon (2)

someone called the cops on me for being here

the front bottoms playing a free show at radioactive records, sometime in may, 2016

pt.2

they're working on gentrifying the area, resistance

final frontier of gentrification

radio station in Ukiah, California

tea's brother was skyping his friend the entire time

slow pokes

we found a ranch all the way up the mountain

sweet pup

loves

in another life i may be this animal

dork

itch bork

i wonder if it remembers us

black phillip bah

i ruin everything

these pictures were taken during the last semester of my senior year of high school, my dad got me an AE-1 for my birthday in early november and i had been shooting a bit since then

i was going to school twice a week if that, i wanted to enjoy what little time of 'youth' i had left

i got kicked out of my moms house after years of abuse, it ended up being the best thing for me

i spent a lot of time with Tea, worked a lot of weird jobs since the place i was working at closed down and i couldn't get another real job until summer

we went to california in the summer, had a nice time, walked around a lot, i don't think i could have spent so much time with anyone else without wanting to isolate

this was the summer i recorded my bands first album (and a song that would later end up on a split), that led me to tour in the fall, and i had been wanting to do that since i learned that that's what bands did

i'd have more to say but before making this blogspot i posted these pictures on tumblr with some long winded bullshit attached to it, here is that long winded bullshit

in my last semester of high school, i went two days a week, every week, i remember this week because i only went once, as i found out that The Front Bottoms were playing a free show an hour south of where i lived, and two hours south of where tea and i went to school, we took a train and walked around all day before they played at three, i stole two records (both flesh born records) cause i’m a piece of shit and didn’t feel like waiting for Brian to finish signing autographs at the register for people not buying any records, figure i support that store enough as it is, paid a lot more money for shit i could have found on discogs for a fraction of the price, we walked around an area that was hit really hard by the recession, when i was younger i remember it being a bustling mall, all it is now is boarded up clubs and bars, made me sad, one time i went to an exhibit at a museum in that mall and i saw my teacher from fourth grade Ms. Bozic, who i fucking hated, she went to go hold my face like old ladies do to children when they see them and her bony cold witch finger slid inside my fucking mouth, i felt like that vine of the kid in the nun mask who swallows whatever predator glove, it was fucking horrible, i remember my last semester of senior year fondly, i got kicked out of my moms house after she beat the shit out of me for the last time, i lost a job but made a lot more money untaxed through some other shit, spent it all on eating with my friends and seeing my partner all the time, learned to drive, all that, this was when i was writing the album that got me to tour and play shows and allowed me to meet so many cool people who affect my life in positive ways, this is the time that led to my involvement with parking lot records, this made me who i am 

reasons why (1st and 2nd)

i don't know why i feel the need to share and document my life on the internet, i have this feeling i'm gonna die and maybe it'll comfort whomever outlives me
that's why i started writing music

i guess i'm just going to post rolls of film that i shoot with explanations for those times, i saw someone from Kaoru Nagisa (i don't know if i'm spelling that correctly) do that on their tumblr, and i would do that on tumblr if i hadn't over shared content from other people on mine, 

i have a lot of time to do nothing (considering i'm dropping out of college) so this is what i fill it up with.

 i'm a miserable wretch and life is going to be very short for me if i don't find it in me to be happy, or to spend all my time blogging so i can't possibly kill myself

can't possibly affirm the will in myself


i lost rolls one and two but i made posts on tumblr since i wasn't blogspotting (is that a verb?) back then
these are only the pictures i thought looked cool, though on here i'm posting the whole roll because life is full of errors and i am no exception

ONE
That's my old house, we moved there from the house i grew up in when i was in 7th grade. I liked it, it was close to downtown Boca Raton, which sucks but i skated around there often, my old best friend moved closer to that house by the time we had gotten into high school, later on in life we'd get in some trouble all around that house.
My mom was always abusive, we have a .33% chance of beating our children if we ourselves are beaten, she had a terrible childhood, it's not her fault, but i can't forgive
that's my cat and my dog, we had a bird, we had a lot of birds but they all flew away, i'm not going to make some statement on that insinuating i should have, too late
the window that says 'i love life thank you' was in a shed that was in our backyard, one night when i couldn't handle the way i was being treated, i punched out the glass beneath it
we were allowed to draw all over the walls, someone figured it'd be a good outlet, i destroyed a lot of that place in fits of anger and frustration,
i've learned a lot of self control since then, i have scars from that house, both mental and physical that will last me a lifetime
cocoa butter is bullshit


TWO
this roll is from a fair that my old friend scott and his friend michael drove by and decided to check out, this was before we turned into different people
i think we're all clones of our company until a certain age,
i miss that time, we were friends in middle school and i decided to go to the same charter high school as him, it was far away, we had a lot of long train rides home to bond more and more
we became the best of friends, i had never had that before
i wish i had a camera for so many stupid times with him, it's probably better and less incriminating that no one documented anything
we were bored and we grew up in a boring place, bored kids will be bored kids
there's a picture that i wish didn't turn out so dark, it was scott talking on a payphone, he just looked cool there isn't much significance
he lives in orlando with his girlfriend now, we've talked on the phone but things aren't the same
i may go and skate with him one of these days
hopefully