9am 6pm 10pm 3am 7am 1pm

been thinking about it all day

sucks

i just need to chill out really

only speak when spoken to kind of person

guess i've never really tried that

kinda hard to be disliked if you don't talk

unless you're just a creepy mouthbreather

and i'm not

i'm just worried they're gonna not give me another shot

haven't really gotten here before with everyone

just with alex

who i've had peaks and valleys of a relationship with before

but we were chillin for a while

and we're even ok now

i just wouldn't consider them a friend

everyone in my life is an acquaintance

other than tea

oh well

listened to the first atreyu record today

kinda ok

i hate the killswitchy cleans

everything else about it is sick though

i think poison the well are the only metalcore band of that era that can get away with cleans

eighteen visions sucked at it

atreyu sucks at it

it dies today sucked at it

killswith sucked at it

obviously just an opinion

u can very well like all of those bands when they sing and that's fine

that's something i got over too

acting like my opinion is fact

and stating it everywhere

so that's improvement

i kinda slept all day today

9am to 6pm

10pm to 3am

gotta work from 7am to 1pm

not a bad shift at all

then i'm off until he makes a new schedule

kind of also paranoid he's gonna just take me off the schedule

i wonder why lol

almost like everyone in my life is leaving right now

other than tea

they stick by me through thick and thin

though after i vented to them all day yesterday

which i'm sure was exhausting

they decided to post on tumblr about all their problems too

which is fine

it's just that all those problems mirror my own

then they come to me for help and i'm really not in a place to do so

and it's fine

we can have the same problems

but like...

i got here first man

it's ok though

i love them

had an honest talk with my brother

which is funny cause he was so emotionally stunted as a kid

my mom does that to people

whatever

tomorrow

or today i guess since it's like four in the morning now

should be ok

dogs will be dogs

i will take care of them

then come home and shower

and all will be good

get food

maybe walk another dog

easy day

just hope the band decides to have a talk with me sooner

cause it's eating me alive

but it's ok

no matter what i'll be ok