the lost roll

I am incredibly bummed out by this, it's my fault, i'm an idiot, either i took too many pictures of unlit objects at night or it was a roll that i knew i ruined

when i went to grab the roll from my 'queue' on the plastic case it said "california"

if these were all night time pictures i don't know what they were of, i don't think we did much more at night than walk down a long winding mountain road to get dennys

we played a lot of magic the gathering

it may also be from the night we spent in san francisco, but i don't remember taking many pictures until we went to the highest point of san francisco

it was very foggy and rainy so you could barely make out the lights of the city but

the fog and mist had created such a dream like atmosphere that we didn't mind being rained on

then we drove home to ukiah 

if this is the roll that i know i ruined i'm pretty bummed out, i knew i took some great

pictures at the golden gate bridge, it was foggy and i remember this dude was painting the bridge,

there was another picture i took where it looked like this man was floating because of the foggy backdrop and my lower perspective, the roll may have ended in the redwoods

but i guess every picture of those ancient trees looks the same

currently i'm very sick and can not speak

i am sitting where i normally would in my dorms living room on very little sleep, wishing

my roommate would receive a call that a relative has passed so he could drive home for the weekend, leaving tea (who has moved in with me since the last update) and i to exist peacefully

i understand that he can not hear very well so that causes him to be unaware of how loud he is being

however there is no excuse for not being considerate of others 

tea and i combined make less noise than that fucking oaf 

i wish i had a darker room to myself

 i could use the alone time

sorry

8th roll of film

hmmph

las vegas i'm pretty sure

the only thing i'm better at during the day is shooting pictures

las vegas motel on no sleep due to tea's dad's fuckery

hallway of place we slept for four hours since we drove 13 to get there
from northern california

tea makes me weak

i'd kill for this person

shitty iwrotehaikusaboutcannibalisminyouryearbook
stick n' poke i did on tea a while back

she let her hair go for a minute i enjoyed the way it looked

las vegas may as well have been static

anorexic lovers

we shared a room with tea's 14 year old brother

tea's cousin from thailand, who loved to spoil us 

analog meme

ruin

dumbest place on the planet

baum was very eager to take us to the sign

i wish i had captured the strippers taking promotional pictures by the sign
someone was twirling a banner

probably more of vegas

at a rest stop on the way back home to ukiah

reminds me of the stratosphere cover by duster

i wish i were young again

a girl and her pup

shelter

this couple asked us where the trail was
we had no clue

pretty sure that was someone sitting on a log 

hmph

in the summer of 2016 tea and i took a trip to california, part of that trip was to get tea's

cousin, baum, divorced, so we drove 13 hours to las vegas in a tiny car

i hate tea's brother, he's inconsiderate of other people, if he had to piss we all got out, if he was hungry we all got out, can't fucking stand people like that

dude doesn't understand how to not breathe loudly through his mouth and hold back phlegm at an incredible volume

i fucking hate that kid and can't wait to never see him again

when we got to las vegas it was probably four in the morning

tea's dad who lived in san diego at the time fucked up a hotel reservation so we got a motel 

i watched everyone sleep so we could get settled as soon as possible

i needed a shower, i'm pretty sure tea was conceived in las vegas

she's an accident child and her mom's a moron for keeping her when she's too selfish to

support her two children, fuck niko though he deserves nothing

driving through the desert late at night listening to duster was something else though

i stole a headphone splitter so tea and i could drown out her brothers dumb ass

we stole so much trail mix along the way

the redwoods were stunning, we got hopelessly lost and decided to retrace our steps before it got dark

i miss ukiah dearly

tea took a beautiful picture of children playing on a dock

she had it pinned to a corkscrew board in her room

we tripped acid and i wanted to kill myself as i usually do when i'm that fucked up

i told her we should drive to that dock and blow each others brains out that instant

we're still alive

i think we'll make it there one day, one last hoorah before our worlds end

shit just has a way of happening though, i think that's why everyone hasn't hung themselves from

a tree

i'm afraid i'm going to come home to my dead lover one day

that fear is worse than how my own death seems

so i figure we'll do it ourselves

diy and die i guess